A Polite Rant: How to Use Only An Hour to Make Online Payments in Nigeria.
I decided I needed to get business cards for an event tomorrow and decided to use my favorite online print shop Printivo. I uploaded my design, hit check out and my life took a left turn
If Printivo were using Stripe, Balanced or any payment system from the 21st century, I would have had to click a single button since as a returning customer, my card details would have been stored. Instead here is what happened.
- I decided to pay with my Diamond Bank company card and after several redirections, was told I needed to go to the ATM to activate my VISA card for online payments.
- I took out my personal GTBank Card, after several redirections, it decided to give me an unintelligible error.
- I tried GTBank Mastercard again, same error.
- I emailed the merchant. Waited to find out if the payment went through and was told it didn’t. Was advised to use online transfer.
- I has not used online banking in 3+ years so I had to pull out my form, search for my token and log in to GTBank online (I got these recently).
- Ater entering PINS upon PINs, I got to where I was to add a new beneficiary. Filled in all the details and was told to “Answer your Secret Question?”. Of course since there there are a million secret questions, I had no idea what the question was so I typed ’42’. It seems that is not the answer to the meaning of life.
- I emailed the merchant who I’m lucky to know personally, and pleaded to be given credit.
- Decided to give up, tweeted my frustrations and it got favorited by Tayo, Paga oga.
- Aha! I remembered I always used Paga for my bank transfers until our dear Interswitch decided to make online payments so safe that card owners could not use their cards.
- I logged into Paga and deposited money into my Paga account. I had to do it thrice becuse I was on the lowest tier of KYC. Yup I had to do the redirect to Interswitch and OTP three times.
- Transfers the money to Printivo.
I deserve a meal.
PS: I skipped the steps where I took out time to insult a few people’s fathers and censored like 10 “fucking shits”. But you get the gist.