A Polite Rant: How to Use Only An Hour to Make Online Payments in Nigeria.

I decided I needed to get business cards for an event tomorrow and decided to use my favorite online print shop Printivo. I uploaded my design, hit check out and my life took a left turn

If Printivo were using Stripe, Balanced or any payment system from the 21st century, I would have had to click a single button since as a returning customer, my card details would have been stored. Instead here is what happened.

  1. I decided to pay with my Diamond Bank company card and after several redirections, was told I needed to go to the ATM to activate my VISA card for online payments.
  2. I took out my personal GTBank Card, after several redirections, it decided to give me an unintelligible error.
  3. I tried GTBank Mastercard again, same error.
  4. I emailed the merchant. Waited to find out if the payment went through and was told it didn’t. Was advised to use online transfer.
  5. I has not used online banking in 3+ years so I had to pull out my form, search for my token and log in to GTBank online (I got these recently).
  6. Ater entering PINS upon PINs, I got to where I was to add a new beneficiary. Filled in all the details and was told to “Answer your Secret Question?”. Of course since there there are a million secret questions, I had no idea what the question was so I typed ’42’. It seems that is not the answer to the meaning of life.
  7. I emailed the merchant who I’m lucky to know personally, and pleaded to be given credit.
  8. Decided to give up, tweeted my frustrations and it got favorited by Tayo, Paga oga.
  9. Aha! I remembered I always used Paga for my bank transfers until our dear Interswitch decided to make online payments so safe that card owners could not use their cards.
  10. I logged into Paga and deposited money into my Paga account. I had to do it thrice becuse I was on the lowest tier of KYC. Yup I had to do the redirect to Interswitch and OTP three times.
  11. Transfers the money to Printivo.
  12. Done.

I deserve a meal.

PS: I skipped the steps where I took out time to insult a few people’s fathers and censored like 10 “fucking shits”.  But you get the gist.

A birthday Rant: Why I feel Too Old At 27

Today is my 27th birthday and I feel too old. Too old not to have made a mark on this world yet.

Let me give a little background to my little rant.

My life’s vision is simple: To inspire a new generation of Nigerian Internet Entrepreneurs through education and mentoring. (It will be revised if the Internet stops being relevant).

For me to fulfil my vision and be a true role model for Nigeria future internet stars, I have to be successful (create value and money) on the Internet. Money made from working in oil companies, banks, telecommunication does not count. I have also believed that this success should come in my 20’s and the reason behind that thought is that it would be easier to convince a 20 year old that he has what it takes to make it now if i did so when i was like him.

This year would make it 17 years since I first got exposed to a computer and 11 years since I first used the Internet. I am feeling a bit sad I didn’t take my chances. I should be making my mark on the web by now.

What about your degrees? They are what took your time… 

I do not know how the world has made people believe that ‘finishing school’ is an achievement on its own. There is no big deal in attending school especially when it has been paid for by someone else. If someone has done something (say a patent, added value to somebody’s life) while going to school then that is different. people never stop learning till they die, so going to school to learn cannot be counted as an achievement.

But  27 is still early…

That is not what people like Chimamanda Adichie, Chinua Achebe  (people do not realise Things Fall Apart was written when he was 27) and the people that have done stuff said. My role models (Zucky, Larry and Sergey, Bill Gates and others) where able to make their mark by the age of 27. I might be arrogant to try to make comparisons with such great people but I refuse to believe ambition is a crime

So what should happen now?…

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is NOW! –  African Proverb

I fully understand I cannot turn back the hands of time so it what I do from now that counts. It is why OnePage means a lot to me, it sets the stage for everything I want in life. So I really hope I grab the present and future opportunities.

Things I hope to do before I am 30

  • Write a book
  • Pioneer a start-up incubator (ala Y Combinator) in Nigeria.
  • Start what I call Micro Angel Investing

If I can succeed in these, I will feel very young on my 30th birthday. Who said age is irreversible? So anytime you see me, I need you to put the pressure on me and ask me “how far?”. Believe me , it will help.

Rant over!

Special thanks to my Mum and Dad for bringing me into this interesting world. Without you guys, I might have been somewhere on Pandora. You guys are the bestest parents anyone can wish for. I love you both.

This evening, with a bottle of Budweiser in my hand, I’ll watch the Super Eagles of Nigeria deliver my present through the Pharaohs of Egypt.

Lets go there!