I decided I needed to get business cards for an event tomorrow and decided to use my favorite online print shop Printivo. I uploaded my design, hit check out and my life took a left turn

If Printivo were using Stripe, Balanced or any payment system from the 21st century, I would have had to click a single button since as a returning customer, my card details would have been stored. Instead here is what happened.

1. I decided to pay with my Diamond Bank company card and after several redirections, was told I needed to go to the ATM to activate my VISA card for online payments.
2. I took out my personal GTBank Card, after several redirections, it decided to give me an unintelligible error.
3. I tried GTBank Mastercard again, same error.
4. I emailed the merchant. Waited to find out if the payment went through and was told it didn’t. Was advised to use online transfer.
5. I has not used online banking in 3+ years so I had to pull out my form, search for my token and log in to GTBank online (I got these recently).
6. Ater entering PINS upon PINs, I got to where I was to add a new beneficiary. Filled in all the details and was told to “Answer your Secret Question?”. Of course since there there are a million secret questions, I had no idea what the question was so I typed ’42’. It seems that is not the answer to the meaning of life.
7. I emailed the merchant who I’m lucky to know personally, and pleaded to be given credit.
8. Decided to give up, tweeted my frustrations and it got favorited by Tayo, Paga oga.
9. Aha! I remembered I always used Paga for my bank transfers until our dear Interswitch decided to make online payments so safe that card owners could not use their cards.
10. I logged into Paga and deposited money into my Paga account. I had to do it thrice becuse I was on the lowest tier of KYC. Yup I had to do the redirect to Interswitch and OTP three times.
11. Transfers the money to Printivo.
12. Done.

I deserve a meal.

PS: I skipped the steps where I took out time to insult a few people’s fathers and censored like 10 “fucking shits”.  But you get the gist.